Man, Why Couldn’t We Think of That: 6/21/09

It’s Father’s Day so I have to make this quick. Instead of lamenting over our past indiscretions and beating ourselves up for not coming up with better content, we will get straight to the point and continue that next week. For now I have a family dinner that I have to get to. So here are your links for this week.


From what everyone’s been telling me Twitter (or tweeting if you are using it as a verb) has become all the rage of late. Well anyway, according to as I believe it to be Ed Boon’s twitter account (the co-creator of Mortal Kombat series) this is a picture taken during the stop animation process of the first Mortal Kombat. Huh…who knew Goro was actually the size of a G.I. Joe.

Ron Gilbert gives his thoughts on Monkey Island twenty years later by giving a written commentary from his most recent play through. I think that should be enough to peak your interest.

Learning to Fly is a flash game about a penguin one day being offended by his Wikipedia page in saying that penguins are flightless birds and his journey of trying to prove the page wrong at any costs. And when we mean by any costs, we mean buying a glider, decreasing wind resistance, and even going as far as strapping rockets to itself to go as far as a penguin possibly can. So that my friends is how you make an awesome flash game.

This is a link to 45 unusual Mario Bros. paintings that have been collected all across the web. Trust us when we say, its much cooler then it sounds.

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Great Moments in Videogames PR: The Mario™ Clock

This week for DSiWare the Mario™ Clock was released. While you would think the name says it all, the person who writes the weekly press release for Nintendo’s downloadable offerings had presented a bit of a “different view” on the product; which earned them a spot as one the great moments in videogames PR history.


What Nintendo’s PR person says the Mario Clock is:
“Turn back time and enjoy a bit of classic game play based on the original Super Mario Bros. with Mario™ Clock. Help Mario and Luigi collect more coins than ever (POW block anyone?) while they run through a variety of stages. Gather enough coins and you'll be treated to another scene bound to bring back fond memories for many. Mario™ Clock includes both analog and digital clocks that use the system's internal clock or allow you to offset the time however you like. Program up to three alarms (with snooze functionality for those that need it) and assign them a Mario-related sound or use one created in the Nintendo DSi™ Sound application. You'll find yourself thinking "Just a few more coins..." in no time!”

What the Mario Clock really is:
IT’S A FUCKING CLOCK WITH MARIO ON IT!

There you have it, one of the great PR moments in videogame history. POW block anyone?

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A Poisonous Pixels PSA About Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings for the Nintendo Wii

Here at Poisonous Pixels we try from time to time to help out the gaming community. So here is a public service announcement about Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings after the jump.


Don’t Buy Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings for the Nintendo Wii, it is absolutely horrendous!

Now even with this new found knowledge that you have acquired about the game, many of you will insist of buying it because within the game you can unlock Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. So to spare you playing this awful, awful game here is the code to get Fate of Atlantis without going through the trouble of playing The Staff of Kings.

In the Staff of the Kings main menu, while holding down the Z button press: A, Up, Up, B, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, B.

I also heard there is a way of unlocking Han Solo as the main character, but it is a mute point because the game is absolute garbage. Now don’t say we never gave you anything.

When did PS1 graphics become a next-gen feature?

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Poetry Slam Reviews: Trash Panic

We haven’t done one of these in a while, so when it came to reviewing Trash Panic we said why not and started tapping into our inner Keats. Trash Panic, for those who don’t know, is a PSN downloadable title that has that very strong Japanese quirky sensibility you either love or love to hate. The best way I can think of explaining this game would be to think of Tetris survival mode, but with trash. If that’s not a good enough explanation for you, then maybe if we open out our hearts and let the language of poetry articulate the things that can not be said in simple words.


Garbage, garbage, everywhere,
And only one trash can for all of these useless things.
You can pile it on high,
With pencils, mattresses, dumbbells, acoustic guitars,
Along with many other things.
Just make sure the trash can doesn’t overfill,
Otherwise those creepy black creatures will put up sarcastic signs at will.

Garbage, garbage, everywhere,
You actually have the option of burning and decomposing it all away,
But at the end you are also scored on how ecological you are,
Thus even though you cleared the stage,
You will probably get a D anyway.

Garbage, garbage, everywhere,
I am actually very surprised in how much fun it is to play.
While the game is very hard,
It actually is a very innovative puzzle game.
So for only five dollars,
You really can’t complain.

Well there it is a crappy poem for a surprisingly great downloadable game. You are welcome.

Somewhere right now, there is a Native American man crying.

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Man, Why Couldn't We Think of That: 6/15/09 (The Incredibly Late Edition)

No, if you are at work, this isn’t some kind of crazy dream. It is in fact Monday and you are reading the “Man, Why Couldn’t We Think of That” feature because, we were having problems with posting content and couldn’t bring you the one thing we do regularly around here on time. So like a dead beat dad that sends his kids five dollars in the mail two weeks after their birthday, here are your links.


Wow, who would have guessed that the answer to America’s financial crisis was in Eve Online all this time?

To many around the world this is a treasured childhood game, but to everyone else it is fucking ludo.

With the exception of Oregon Trail and Where in the World is Carmon Sandiego, games that try to teach you things aren’t usually very good. However the flash game 1066 would like to differ.

I wasn’t going to post this because I absolutely hate the name of the blog, but their research on teabagging in Halo is just too riveting. (NOTE: Yes I know the name is part of the joke, but it doesn’t make the name hawtymcbloggy any better.)

So first EA stages fake religious protesters to get hype going on their game Dante’s Inferno and because of the fake protesters there are actual religious protesters now protesting the fake protest that EA had staged. Yeah, my mind broke there too. So instead of confusing everyone any further, here is a link to Game Politics hopefully explaining the whole situation.

You know what Penny Arcade, you are right. Maybe Project Natal isn’t such a good idea after all.

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